Archive for September, 2007

The Story Of The Dancing Leaves

September 30, 2007

The leaves are blowing in the wind
as if God is making them dance
the leaves love this feeling
this feeling of freedom
the branch they are stuck to can only hold them so
tightly
till the mighty wind decides its time
time for the leaves to go
then they will sail away
float as close to weightlessness as can be
the leaves believe they are where they want to be
nothing can hold them back now
they float and they dance their way to the ground
until they softly land
they had already begun to change color
gone from green to red
this day could not get any better they decided
all the leaves in agreement
but ah how cruel fate can be
their smiles were quickly turned
as they then knew their fate
without the tree holding them
they had a date with death
it was to late now
they could no longer go back
oh how they wish they could change the events
that led to their end
if only they had let the tree hold them
instead of floating away
this was the final stand for them
no where else to go but black
they begged the tree for forgiveness
and to please take them back
the leaves lives were now sealed
there would be no more dancing
a victim to their own selfishness
watch the leaves as they try to dance now

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Comfort or Here Comes the Big One Hold Your Breath

September 28, 2007

Riding the waves of discomfort
isn’t that what living really is?
What is comfortable but just a word
A word that means nothing
Those skyscraper waves wash all away
Waves so high they block out the sun
Sending the world tumbling into darkness
Comfort….can it be real?
The evidence points to the contrary
Can we ever really feel safe?
Comfort….what a funny little word.
How do we know that comfort does not exist?
The tragedies that befall humanity.
The tragedies that befall one single heart
These tragedies beat that heart
Making sure it knows its useless
Comfort….what cruel joke this word is
How can we ever be comfortable
When the world beckons us outside
Comfort…..oh comfort….
You do not exist
You must not
For if you do exist oh comfort…
Then you have abandoned me
And my hope is lost

How Bravery and Abandonment Are Forever Linked

September 26, 2007

When the world feels as if its closing tight around you, trying its best to choke you out…

Are you abandoned?  Or are you on the first step of a new journey?

When harshness seems to have taken over all humanity…

Will you feel abandoned?  Or will you step out with bravery….

When Armageddon opens its mouth and bears it’s teeth

Will you feel abandoned?  Or will you stare into its eyes

When the flood gates are smashed through and evil pours out

Will you feel abandoned?  Or will you swim with new found strength

When the earth quakes split the world right in two

Will you be abandoned?  Or will you stand your ground

When darkness consumes the world and lets no light filter through

Are you abandoned?  Or will you search for that inkling of yellow….

When Growing Up Becomes A Responsibility

September 23, 2007

He wishes he was little
When all his nightmares were about monsters
And they didn’t seem as real

He wishes he was small
When his worries were about missing cartoons
And they didn’t seem that important

He wishes he was younger
When he thought he could be anything
And not what he couldn’t be

He didn’t want to grow up
But he did

The Scorpion And The Battle of the Flooding Valley

September 21, 2007

Chapter 1:  To Rise Up Early

He awoke from his slumber.  The air was nice and crisp.  This was to be a grand day!  The scorpion sits up and starts to stretch, sensing in that very moment how amazing the sunlight was.   Nothing could go wrong today.  The world was his to conquer!  Nothing was going to stand in his way.  Then the rumbling from inside him began.  His just awoken state had covered up this crippling feeling.  This feeling of hunger.  What was the scorpion going to do?  He had enjoyed his slumber.  Now was the time for food…

Chapter 2:  To Spy An Eight Legged Lunch

The scorpion knew what must be done.  His instincts told him what to do.  As if some supreme being had downloaded instructions on how to live into his brain.  He knew that if he didn’t find something to eat soon he would surely die.  He would go insane.   He went out into the sunlight and searched around.  Then he saw it.  He saw his prey.  A little spider had decided to be strong and brave herself out into the open.  The scorpions eyes grew wide with delight.  This was it!  This proved that everything was going to work out today.  The scorpion crept his way to the spider.  Oh what delicious prey!  He just hoped he wouldn’t have to fight her…

Chapter 3:   To Enjoy The Victory

The battle was long and fierce.  Legs attacked without abandon.  The spider knew this was life or death.  Her many eyes fill with dread and fear.  The scorpion grins as he draws his tail back and strikes again and again, until she’s long gone.  Until the spider stops twitching.  Until her eyes become still and discolored.   The scorpion grins his happy little grin.  He had earned this meal.  He had earned his right to be the one dining.  He clicked his pinchers together in anticipation.  Just as he was about to rip in, just as he was about to eat his fill, the raindrops began to plummet…..

Chapter 4:    Rains Came A Tumbling Down or How to Survive the Oncoming Flood

The rain was falling.  And it didn’t stop.  It just continued to fall.  Suddenly, the ground beneath the scorpion turned into a rising flood.  What was he to do?  He wasn’t made to swim.   He then spotted it.  His prize was floating in the other direction!  He swam the best he could.  Pushing water back with his claws over and over, doing his best to propel himself forward.   His eyes began to water as he stretches his claws out, trying his best to reach what he had worked so hard for.  No matter what he did he could not reach.  He began to weep as he watched his lunch float away, never to see it again.   He screamed out into the dark clouds.  This was suppose to be his perfect day!  He was suppose to conquer it as if it was his destiny!   What was he to do now?  He was alone with his thoughts, just floating without hope, riding a dying leaf that had floated by.   How was he to survive….had his instincts failed him?  Or had he been shown that he had no control, that his day had been spent selfishly, just wanting to survive?    What was he to do…..

The Heart

September 18, 2007

The heart, is it a muscle?
Is it where feelings come from?
Is it where the soul resides
Where the essence is jailed
It can feel so happy
It can feel so light
Yet it can feel so heavy
And it can feel so dark
As if nothing but shadows
Creep inside to choke the soul out

The heart, is it where faith hides?
Is it where our fears live?
Is it where evil lurks?
Where another evil waits to be born
It is what makes man a slave
And woman a lady of the night
It can overpower the brain
And make us see mirages
While the rest of you
Tries to make sense of things

The heart, is it where pain digs?
Where suffering decides to stay?
Is it where scars live?
Where scars continue to grow?
Can it be where love blooms?
And where hate blossoms?
Can it be the place
Where one decides to be human
Or to become a monster?
How can the heart hold so much?

The heart, is it where our lights shine?
Is it where one can see it flicker out?
Will your heart become a beacon?
A lighthouse to the dark shadows of boats
Or will your heart become a black hallway
Where all loving thoughts go to die
Where vines have grown around it
And choked all the shine out
Where the thorns have pierced the hard shell
That has grown around your center

My heart, can you survive without sun?
Can you make it with all that rain
Can you dry up all the wetness
And take away the pain?
Can you handle that armor that surrounds you
The precautions I took to protect you
To keep you from hurting again
To protect you from these bruises
I did all I could to keep you safe heart
And yet you’re still black and blue

My heart, covered with deep trenches of agony
Is it to late to save you heart?
Each beat is just a timer
that’s counting down to the end
Till the body has no fuel
And drops before the buzzards descend
I can feel the light and the dark battle inside you
To the victor gets the spoils of my character
Can I save you heart? Can I put you in His light?
Or will I let one of God’s miracles sputter and die

My heart, I make you seem so strong
Yet you are so brittle
You are where language creates beauty
You are where songs burst forth
You are where poems leak
And where I can hear God words
So heart, while you know what’s real
The hardness around you is cracking
And its almost to much to bear
But I feel this inkling of warm
I can feel that God is near…

Cry of the Lost volume 3: Sailing the Sweeping Ocean

September 13, 2007

He’s on the maiden voyage
Sailing his way home
Oh how the water seems so peaceful
So beautiful and blue
He stares at the ripples
And smiles from ear to ear
The ocean becoming his mistress
He thanked God for her
As his vessel pushed through
Then with a bang
And the sound of a screech
The boat began to sink
And the horizon began to rise
He screamed up into the night
Blaming God for his coming demise
He looked down into the oncoming blue
He grit his teeth and clinched his fists
Knowing full well he will no longer exist
He took his last gulp of breath
And slowly closed his eyes
The flooding waters then washed over him
Engulfing him whole
His last thoughts were not what he expected
They weren’t about his life or his boat
They weren’t about the ocean
Oh God how could I pretend
That you didn’t care
Im so sorry that I hated you
And blamed you for all wrong
Then with his last breath
He took one last look
And saw the blurry blue
The cold hid his final tears
Oh God please forgive me
Oh God I love you

With the last of his strength
He cried out once more
Please God Oh Please
Then he heard the trumpets
The blaring of the horns
And he felt so warm
And everything seemed so bright
A smile appeared across his lips
He finally felt a sense of peace
While his body floated in the deep blue mess
Thank you God for saving me
He said as his body drifted into nothingness

Cry of the Lost volume 2: The Ugly Duckling

September 7, 2007

Finally I see some light
I see it shine as the shell cracks
And my beak peaks through
Oxygen finally fills my lungs
I break out of the shell
And im surrounded by my family
I see my mother oh how grand
She’s stunning and beautiful
Looking around at my brothers
And my wonderful sisters
They all stop and stare
I can watch as their eyes adjust
Their shrieks fill the air
My mother turns her back
And leaves me on my own

Why do I have to be
The ugly duckling
Why couldn’t it be somebody
Who isn’t me
Im the ugly duckling

Why do I even exist
If I am to look this way
What kind of a cruel joke
Is being played
Why must I have these wings
If I cant even get off the ground
Walking around the humans
Hoping one would just step on me

Why do I have to be
The ugly duckling
Why couldn’t it be somebody
Who isn’t me
Im the ugly duckling

My short life seems so bleak
And I seem so lost
Im the ugly one of the pack
To hideous for my family
And right as I was about to give up
I was swept up into warm hands
A bright glow wrapped around me
Then I heard a voice coming through
Breaking through the gray sky
“you may think you’re the ugly duckling
But you are the most beautiful one
I gave you a wonderful soul little one
You will sprout amazement
And you will cause awe
All those people who keep you down
Who throw dirt on your soul
They don’t know why I put you here
So before you go to your own darkness
Think about what im going to say
I gave you an amazing beautiful soul
Put it to good use someday
I have plans for you duckling
And I make no mistakes”

I thought I was the ugly duckling
But God says different
Gods hands keep me warm
And holds my fate….

Cry of The Lost volume 1: Questions

September 5, 2007

Are we ever as broken as we sometimes feel? I pray that I am not. For if I am, then what hope do I have? The world feels as if it’s going to swallow me whole and there is nothing I can do to contain these ideas of dispair and lost hope. Am I doomed to always roam the streets at night alone? The darkness becoming my only shoulder to lean on? When I cry out to God to wrap His arms around me will He hear me? Will He hold me and tell me that everything is going to be alright? Will He tell me that there is nothing to worry about since I am in His hands? Oh God, please do not leave me to dwell in my own suffering. Please do not allow me to climb back inside my own darkness, my own mind. How strong is my faith? When someone has me at gun point and tells me I have to shun God or be shot, what will I choose? Will I choose the path to physical salvation or will I choose the path of eternity? Will I fall to my knees and beg a man not to pull the trigger? Or will I fall to my knees and beg my Savior to deliver me?

When I’m down on the ground with my eyes closed and my head lowered, when Im speaking to God, I pray that i ask for what should be asked for. That I pray for what should be prayed for. My own selfishness sometimes makes that goal become a burden. Every breath I take is a gift from Him and to many times I take that for granted.

It pains me to see so many of God’s children turned away from those who swear to love God. I sit here and question those people. I become disgusted with them. I think to myself, how can you claim to love Jesus yet go against what He stood for by showing hatred? And yet, am I any better then they are? Do I not also make snap judgments about those who I don’t even know? My conceitedness and my self doubt are in constant battle. Am I really that great of a person? Of course I am. Do I deserve it when good things happen to me? Probably not.

Am I ever as broken as I feel? I pray that I’m not. The sun rising gives me hope. If God is so powerful that He can make it light and he can make it dark, and I am in his care, then no matter what happens to me He is with me. So while I walk down this path of darkness, this path of dispair, this path of lost hope, He is right there. Walking beside me. Lighting the path so I don’t stub my toes, unless it be from my own clumsiness. And no matter how hard I shout at Him, no matter how much I curse Him, no matter how long I cry and question His existence, He is still with me. Why God? Why do You insist on not giving up on me when I have done so already? There are so many out there who are better then me, who are smarter, stronger, beautiful, more talented, even more faithful. Why don’t You just leave me be……

Because it’s not You. You do not abandon. You will NEVER abandon. So even when I wish for an abortion of me, You will hold me. You will be there. You love me. While I feel this darkness consuming me, I am grateful that I can see Your light flickering in the distance. I am grateful that You will guide me to the light, and that when it is Your time I know that I will see everything, as if day has been brought upon me. Thank You Lord, for without You I would be forever lost.

This Cover Up

September 2, 2007

Walking around going unnoticed
Do they really want this?
They are walking zombies now
Groaning instead of talking
Can no longer tell
Which are human and which are shells

We all do our best to cover up
What feels the most vulnerable
Who can we trust with our insides
When we can’t even trust ourselves
The hurricanes come and they go
Blowing away our weightless souls

We are all on our way to our graves
Taking pit stops along the way
Trying our best to delay our final stop
With cloths we hide our rough spots
Do not let anyone look at us
When we feel so exposed

Wearing clothes just to hide
What’s soft and real inside
When we have passed on
And laying inside our coffins
Will we just stare into space
And wonder what could have been?