Who Is Going To Help Me Save Myself?

I’ll never understand any woman I meet
I guess I’ll just have to admit defeat
What’s it mean when she says she loves me?
Do those words come out of her mouth easily
Does she say them to every man around
Has she told everyone in this dusty old town?

I met her back in two thousand and three
She came from a place I couldn’t see
I knew she would be the death of me
And that my heart would take a sting
But by then it was just too late
She had control of me and my fate.

She said she loved me and she’d never leave
Something that I wanted to believe
Her words were like honey on my soul
Without her I wouldn’t know where to go
She was like my trembling rose
Laying in the dust of an old dirt road

Oh momma she said she’d never leave
Those words I wanted to believe
But I can’t find her here no  more
She left and I don’t know what for
Who’s going to save me from myself
I’m the only person who I couldn’t help

She is like a flickering light
I’ll do what I can to keep her in my sights
I never knew what love was before
Until she couldn’t take no more
She turned around and walked out the door
I sobbed as I hit the floor

She must of found a good place to hide
All this time to me she had lied
Said we’d be together till the end of time
Through thick and thin and apocalyptic signs
I jumped to the phone when it did ring
On the other end I heard her sing

She said that she was sorry but she had to go
And that her love for me I’d never know
It didn’t matter what I said
I wasn’t worth the price on her head
The next words I heard I couldn’t stand
As she told me of her love for another man.

Oh momma she said she’d never leave
Oh how easily I was deceived.
I can’t find her around here anymore
She’s done and left me and I don’t know what for
I wish that I would of learned
So I could find out just what I had done

Five years later walking down the road
I saw a woman that I thought I know
I saw her and in her hand
Was the hand of another man
I turned my tail and walked the other way
To try to hide my grief and pain

I knew the bottle would be my best friend
And would be with me until the end
The bottle said it would never leave
It would be with me as long as I had the green
Just like a woman I suppose
Going where the money goes.

I drank and I drank until I was drunk
If I passed out it was just my luck
I knew that I didn’t want to feel
Going numb was my only deal
She took my money and she took my soul
She took my mind and left me alone

Oh momma she said she’d never leave
Those words I wanted to believe
I thought she was the only one for me
Oh how easily I was deceived
Now who’s going to save me from myself
I’m the only person who I couldn’t help.

The Rat

He is small and lives in the sewer
But he wouldn’t have it any other way
He spends his time in the dark
In the dreary is where he stays

He scurries and he claws around
Trying to find out where he is
One day he’ll find that answer
And live the way he was meant to live

Running around under our feet
Living in among our filth and disease
But he does so with a smile on his face
And with a sense of peace

As if he was living his purpose
And doing what he was created for
If only we were as content as the rat
Perhaps we should live in the sewer. 

What I Became Jealous Of

it’s as if i had seen the animals
as they were walking two by two
side by side with their best friend of the same
creed
with zebras and rhinos and birds of a feather
and it was clear that they flocked together
walking with a purpose to the wooden craft
for inside those splintered walls they would be safe
i could see them as the rain drowned me
and i was jealous.

as if moses has struck the red sea shore
and the waters rose and split
i could see the people as they walked
from one shore to the other in relative safety
and as if they knew where they were going
that they knew they would be safe.
i could see them walking in between the waters
from inside the murky wall of blue
and i was jealous.

it’s as if i had witnessed the rapture
watching the souls as they floated toward the
heavens
leaving behind their possession’s and their clothes
and the souls knew just where to go
the higher they went the more grounded i became
gravity was having it’s way with me
the raptured souls went into the clouds to home
now safe from all the disasters of the earth
and i was jealous.

A First Row Seat to the Fireworks Display

What a vivid dream laid before me.  There were people
everywhere on this bright and sunny day.
Then the ground shook and the women screamed.  And up
ahead I saw why.
Far into the distance a mushroom cloud of smoke
appeared.  I tried my best to figure it out.

I see the clouds pushing forth.  Engulfing all that
surrounds it.  Eating it like it needs to survive.
One by one I see people turn into the dust, and become
one with the dirt.
I see a family hug and cling to each other close.  And
I can hear them as they pray.
Then the dust eats them away.  They didn’t even have
time to say their goodbyes.

I saw a man to my left.  Age had gotten the best of
him.
He cried to God and begged for forgiveness.  Said he
wanted a safer place to stay when he passed.
He turned into the dust as it pushed forth.  With a
force of a  million hurricanes.
His hate blew off and his face it crumbled.  And soon
his body just evaporated.

The sun could not be seen.  The clouds of dirt had
covered it up.
And all around me people cry.  Turn to each other and
say sorry.
They pray to God and hope they get to see Him.  And
some aren’t so sure.

I turn to the monster of dirt.  And I stare ahead into
it’s face.
So many things in my life I wasn’t proud of.
And yet I did nothing to change.
Could God really forgive me?  Perhaps this was his
punishment
Seems a bit harsh for the crimes I committed.  But He
is the eternal judge.

My eyes water and tears began to descend.
I fall to my knees and spread out my arms.  Reaching
into the air.
Letting the dust and wind bang against me.  I could
feel dust in my skin.
My tear drying up before it begins.  My hair has gone.
And I look at my hand.  I watch it as it disappears.
Now I am apart of the world. 

Where the Wolves Gather for the Feast

There’s a flicker in the air
Where the wolves like to stare
And they growl cause they can tell
When it’s blood that they smell

I was surrounded by the pack
They were ready to attack
Upon their backs fur was raised
And I was lost in their gaze

Suddenly then from behind
One hit me without a sign
Then they knew they had me down
What a terribly awful  sound.

They dragged me back into their den
Where they clawed and bit my skin
Their mouths so close I smelled their breath
And I felt I had nothing left

I decided then for one last fight
And we battled into the night
Me versus these evil beasts
We wouldn’t stop till our breaths did cease

I then felt that I had won
But the wolves felt they weren’t done
They dug their teeth into my heel
To set me up for the kill

They had me down on my face
In this dark and dreary place
I turned to look them in the eye
For I knew that I would die

I could feel them as they ate
And for me it was to late
They soon went in for the kill
And chewed on me for their meal